seasons.

Hi friends,

   It's been a couple of months since I've written on here and I hate that. So much has happened. So many wonderful things. So many sad things. So many emotions have been constantly taking over my brain all at once over the last couple of months. It's hard for me to process things. I am emotionally and can be easily hurt. But I can also be what one calls a "stuffer." I stuff my emotions and put them on the back burner of everything else that is happening until everything builds up and I literally explode. Usually it's some kind of emotional-weep in the shower kind of explosion. Never directly at someone.

   I feel as though there are many seasons of life that we go through. We go through the stage where the most important person we all depend on for the first several years of our lives are our mothers. Then the seasons continue. And eventually we go through awkward middle school and junior high stages full of braces, bad hair, too much makeup, and trying to fit in. Within that awkward period of time, for me, my mother was the last person I wanted to talk to or want advice from. But no matter what, she was there. My family was always there. They've always been here. And I do not give them enough credit for that.

   I've made many mistakes with people over the course of my life by depending on them too much because of things that have happened to me in my past. And it isn't fair. I will be the first person to tell you that I care way too much about people. Their lives. Their decisions. I am very invested in people. The Lord is revealing to me, (and he has been doing this for a long time but I haven't truly been able to see it until now) to continue to use the gifts He has given me. The compassion and love He has given me for people. Patience. An open mind. Open ears. Empathy. Encouragement. And to use them for him and not myself. To be fully invested in Him. Not people. We are all human. Humans can't live up to the magnitude of what God lives up to. And he lives up to so much more than that. He was, is, and will forever be the only constant thing in my life.

   I am thankful and have so much love for every single person in my life right now. Whether they are close to me or distant from me because there is a purpose for every single person I have encountered.

Happy ALMOST New Year. 

-H