Fellow Americans,
I saw the movie The Campaign yesterday and as a citizen of this great country, and maybe because I am feeling slightly more patriotic than usual, I thought that it was my constitutional right to inform you all of something.
Now, I'm obviously not the one who conglomerated the number system and what means what, but the number three is odd for a reason. Cutting to the chase, who invented the "3rd wheel system?" Just to tell you all a secret, I've never had a serious boyfriend in my life. No, I'm not a freak, socially awkward, picky, or secretly a dude in women's clothing. I'm just the "observing friend." the one who sees all of my close friends screw ups and bad relationships and learns what not to do that way. Instead of living it first hand, I live it through them.
Having been single for well, my whole life, I have become an expert at being the third wheel. The term "third wheel" can be applied to any kind of relationship, really. And the definition of that word that if you could look it up in the dictionary would be: awkward.
I am supportive and happy for all of my friends who are in relationships and in love and all that jazz, but if you invite me to do something with you and your significant other, or where there will be multiple couples there, I will respectfully have to decline. No, I would not like to be the 3rd, 5th, Or 7th wheel on your putt putt date to remind myself that I am yes, still single, and not even close to going on a couples putt putt date.
Until tomorrow,
-H
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